Unique Funeral Planning: Honoring the Life of Your Loved One

“Funerals are a time for retelling and strengthening the stories, keeping the stories alive, thickening them, giving them more detail. The more stories, the more different words, the more different sides of someone that you can build pictures of, the more richly the person will be brought to mind.”
- Bill Logan, at a funeral celebrants conference in New Zealand, 1999

 

As you honor your loved one’s life and spirit at a funeral, you will find a comfort and a peace that will help you through this most difficult time. No matter how difficult remembering can be, it will also help you feel closer and connected to your loved one through the rest of your life.

 

Why are these remembering activities so important?

The days before the funeral is difficult, disorienting, and a little scary. You may feel that you don’t have the time or the energy to dedicate to remembering and planning a funeral service like the ones you hear about from others.

However, I promise you that if you dedicate a little time to creating a meaningful, unique funeral service, anything you do will bring you comfort as time goes on. You may even be feeling rather numb right now, and in a way that makes the process of remembering and sharing those memories a little easier, in the moment.

Ask for Help

Still, you may feel you just can’t do this right now – if that’s the case, think about all those friends who said to call if you needed help with anything. Unique funeral planning is the perfect thing to ask for help with. It may be too hard for you to do yourself, but someone else who knew your loved one may be much more able to help you create something that will honor and pay tribute to your loved one in a way that you will treasure forever.

 

Related Books:

Building Memories: Planning a Meaningful Funeral


“This planner provides wonderful comfort and guidance from Doug as he explains the healing value of a funeral, the importance of personalization and how to plan a funeral that fits you or your loved one. These are great to use as a source of discussion and options for family meetings.”

 

 


Quotes

We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory. — Georges Duhamel

Let the joy of your loved one's life begin to take the place of the hurt and anger of the death. — Darcie D. Sims, Grief Inc.

While both joy and sorrow are fleeting, and often intertwined, love has the power to overcome both. And love can last forever. — Deb Fulton, in "The Power of Love" from A Second Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul

When a once painful reminder evokes a gentle laugh, when we recognize the joy of the present in an image from the past, we have arrived at an important moment. Those memories are being transformed, unmistakably, into messages of hope. — Molly Fumia, in Safe Passage

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy. — Eskimo Legend

Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. — Rossiter W. Raymond

What the heart has once known, it shall never forget. — Author unknown

I have only slipped away into the next room, I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.... Play, smile, think of me.... All is well. — Henry Scott Holland

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
— Antoine de Saint-Exupery, from The Little Prince

Photographs are precious memories . . . the visual evidence of place and time and relationships . . . ritual talismans for the treasure chest of the heart. — Robert Fulghum, in From Beginning to End

In love longing
I listen to the monk's bell.
I will never forget you
even for an interval
Short as those between the bell notes.
— Izumi Shikibu

He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Memory is a passion no less powerful or pervasive than love. What does it mean to remember? It is to live in more than one world, to prevent the past from fading and to call upon the future to illuminate it. — Elie Wiesel, in All Rivers Run to the Sea: Memoirs

Recall as often as you wish; a happy memory never wears out. — Libbie Fudim

Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there. — Isla Paschal Richardson

If I am to wear this mourning cloak, let it be made of the fabric of love, woven by the fine thread of memory. — Molly Fumia, in Safe Passage

To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die. — Thomas Campbell

The heart hath its own memory, like the mind. And in it are enshrined
the precious keepsakes, into which is wrought the giver's loving thought.
— H.W. Longfellow

Remembering the past makes hoping for the future possible. — Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., Center for Loss

Give sorrow words;
the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart
and bids it break.
— William Shakespeare, in Macbeth, Act IV, Scene III

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