Remembrance Letter – More than a condolence letter, the best gift of all | Memories are Forever

Remembrance Letter – More than a condolence letter, the best gift of all

“Yesterday I received in the mail a letter from my uncle (my dad’s brother)…. Eighteen pages of memories, wisdom, advice. This is one of the best gifts I have ever received in my life. So meaningful.”
~ Wendy Russ, Writing Letters of Condolence

The first year after the loss of a loved one is hard – a griever has to deal with birthdays, anniversaries, mother’s or father’s day, and major family holidays that were always spent with that loved one.

At any of these difficult times, your friend or loved one would be grateful to receive a gift showing that others are thinking of their loved one as well. The gift of a letter with your memories is the perfect gift to show that you care.

Perhaps you already wrote a condolence letter or a sympathy note – consider this a follow-up to that note and give it a little more time and thought. There’s no deadline for this letter.

What can you write about?

Look through some photographs or old papers that would help spark some of your memories. Though at first you may feel like you won’t remember a lot of specifics, as you think back, you’ll remember more.

How did you first meet?

What did you respect about her?

What made you laugh?

What did you observe about her that would be of interest to her family?

What did you like to do together?

What did you like to argue about?

What were some of his favorite things?

If you could sum up his personality in one word, what would it be? What memories reflect that about him?

This kind of letter doesn’t need to have the same formality of a condolence letter, but the same care should be given to your friends’ feelings. For more information, you can read the following articles:

Writing letters of condolence

How to write a condolence letter

See also: How to say it when you don’t know what to say books

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Quotes

Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there. — Isla Paschal Richardson

I have only slipped away into the next room, I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.... Play, smile, think of me.... All is well. — Henry Scott Holland

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night. — Antoine de Saint-Exupery, from The Little Prince

Photographs are precious memories . . . the visual evidence of place and time and relationships . . . ritual talismans for the treasure chest of the heart. — Robert Fulghum, in From Beginning to End

When a once painful reminder evokes a gentle laugh, when we recognize the joy of the present in an image from the past, we have arrived at an important moment. Those memories are being transformed, unmistakably, into messages of hope. — Molly Fumia, in Safe Passage

Remembering the past makes hoping for the future possible. — Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D., Center for Loss

Let the joy of your loved one's life begin to take the place of the hurt and anger of the death. — Darcie D. Sims, Grief Inc.

The heart hath its own memory, like the mind. And in it are enshrined
the precious keepsakes, into which is wrought the giver's loving thought. — H.W. Longfellow

If I am to wear this mourning cloak, let it be made of the fabric of love, woven by the fine thread of memory. — Molly Fumia, in Safe Passage

We do not know the true value of our moments until they have undergone the test of memory. — Georges Duhamel

He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

What the heart has once known, it shall never forget. — Author unknown

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy. — Eskimo Legend

Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. — Rossiter W. Raymond

Memory is a passion no less powerful or pervasive than love. What does it mean to remember? It is to live in more than one world, to prevent the past from fading and to call upon the future to illuminate it. — Elie Wiesel, in All Rivers Run to the Sea: Memoirs

To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die. — Thomas Campbell

In love longing
I listen to the monk's bell.
I will never forget you
even for an interval
Short as those between the bell notes. — Izumi Shikibu

Give sorrow words;
the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart
and bids it break. — William Shakespeare, in Macbeth, Act IV, Scene III

Recall as often as you wish; a happy memory never wears out. — Libbie Fudim

While both joy and sorrow are fleeting, and often intertwined, love has the power to overcome both. And love can last forever. — Deb Fulton, in "The Power of Love" from A Second Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul